whobix

I was working in my office today, and needed to erase the whiteboard you see in the picture above. I busted out the windex and paper towels to take care of what I thought would be a 2 minute project. Except it took longer. Much, much longer. I needed a scrubby-pad-thingy-what's it, too. And elbow grease. The quantity of which may have just given me tendonitis. Great, there goes my professional tennis career. 

Mid-cleaning it hit me.

I had written the notes that were on the board a while ago. It was an important section of a book I am currently writing. I left it up, because I knew I would be referring to it a lot. And when my elbow began to feel like it was going to explode I realized something.

Consistent messages are hard to ignore.

That made me think of high school and college students. Specifically, our responsibility to speak life into them on a regular, consistent basis.

The words we use impact how they see themselves.
The actions they take based on those words multiply those results. Either for good, or...well, not so good.

We need to be intentional about the words we are pouring into the next generation.

The ones they think about themselves. The ones they use to describe themselves. The ones that act as a mental GPS to the actions they take.

And that's on us.

Just like the words on my whiteboard were not easily erased, neither are the ones we speak into the next generation. My whiteboard had encouraging words. But think about the many, many times that the emotional whiteboard of a young adult is getting filled with negative words. And then our first reaction is to blame them for acting on the only teaching they've ever known...negativity. 

Millennials are listening.

And every time we lob the softball of "they are just an entitled generation", we highlight our unwillingness to be part of the solution. Actually, we also do a fantastic job of contributing to the problem.

Stop complaining, and start solving.
Stop putting down, and start pouring into.
Stop, stopping, and start, starting.

Be willing to spend the time scrubbing the emotional whiteboard of a Millennial clean, so that you can fill it back up with encouragement.

Unleash their potential, by bringing words of wisdom that are intentional.

Teach them the power of words.
Teach them how to leverage the momentum that comes from understanding WHO they are, and WHY they exist. Teach them to rely on values, so that WHAT they believe comes alive in HOW they act.

Every mind is like a whiteboard.
Fill it with great content.
Words are hard to remove, so make sure they are worth the time you are taking to say them.

Every word matters.

And one last thing...

The consistency of your delivery will either be part of the solution, or part of the problem.

We also have to be intentional about our commitment over time. Just because we said it once, doesn't mean our job is done.

There will always be a competing message for limited space in the minds that we are teaching.

Keep writing words of encouragement, life, challenge, love, hope, etc...on the hearts of the next generation.

That way when someone tries to fill it with the opposite, they will see the value in not listening to it.

Well, I have to run.
I have a whiteboard to fill with more notes.
Positive, life-giving, inspiring notes.
For the next generation.

I hope you will join me in doing the same.

A Quagmire:

If you Google the word, here is what you will find.

"A soft area of land that gives way underfoot."
"An awkward, complex, or hazardous situation."

And for many college freshman, that is exactly what it feels like to walk on to campus for the second time.

I'm not talking about the first time. You know...the one when you tour the campus, seeing the best of everything. When you get what J-Lo calls "the goosies". When you seal the deal that this will be your University with the rite of passage that has happened for decades. You buy the sweatshirt from the bookstore, and wear it all over your hometown.

Everything is full of hope and excitement on the first visit. But when it comes time to wave to your parents from the curb as they become smaller, disappearing into the distance that is your former existence...something shifts.

Don't get me wrong. You are still excited. Come on, man. You've just reached the pinnacle of freedom.

Where do you start?

So much freedom, so much time.

Until there isn't.

Yeah...it happens the moment the first syllabus drops in front of you, with the weight of an anvil. It's multiplied a few times over...from class, to class, to class.

All of a sudden free time looks like one of those freezer bags that gets any quantifiable amount of air left sucked out of it by a vacuum-looking device.

Welcome to college.

If you arrive at this point still unsure of "WHAT" you want to be when you grow up, "WHAT" your major should be, "WHAT" classes you should take...it can be a lot like knowing you are hungry, but afraid to take a bite. Why? Because you know you are allergic to some of it...you just don't know what part of it.

Silly analogy? Maybe.
Effective? Absolutely.

Wouldn't it be nice to know what you were allergic to, before you consumed it?

I think there are 2 Quagmire-like times in a college freshman's life.

First steps and next steps.
Arriving and deciding.

How do you recapture the "sweatshirt-from-the-bookstore" feeling, when you are staring at the "what-the-heck-do-I-do-now" reality?

Take a step back.
Rewind.
Think about WHO you are and WHY you exist. Think about the very thing that drives you. Think about what you love to day-dream about. 

Start to think about what you believe in. The non-negotiable values that steer you. The ones, that at the end of the day, will keep you on track, on time, and on point...amidst the attractive distractions (and they will come) that flood the world of every college freshman.

Think about it this way...

When you know WHO you are, you will know WHAT to do. You exist to do something of significance, based on who YOU are.

This may sound fancy and idealistic. Maybe it is. But from my personal experience, having lived it...and failed out...and hearing from current day college students...this matters.

And at the risk of losing you altogether, I have some homework for you.

Write down the problem that bothers you the most in the world today. Now write down next to it, what you are uniquely equipped to bring to it. (Not what degree you think you need, or major you think you need to declare) Be specific. 

Write down the problem.
Write down where you would LOVE to participate in building the solution.

Once you get to the place where you begin to see the end, you will know where to start.

Once you start to see how you are built, you will know what you can bring to the table.

Once you know WHO you are, you will know WHAT to do.

That'll turn your Quagmires into Questions. Questions are a good thing. They lead to solutions. 

No more loose footing and awkward unknowns.

Your first steps become confident next steps.
Your arrival is no longer about just survival.

It's time to thrive.

If someone asked you "Who are you?", could you answer it in one sentence? If they asked you "What do you do?" could you do the same?

That first question made you pause and think. The second rolled off your tongue with ease.

Interesting, isn't it?

Those two questions are not the same thing, yet we treat them that way. We identify WHO people are by WHAT they do.

Not sure you agree?  Fair enough. Let's look at a common scenario we find ourselves in from time to time.

We enter the room at a gathering. A party. An event. A BBQ. Wherever we are, the next thing that happens is commonplace.

We introduce ourselves.
By name, occupation, and location.

Like this...

"Hi, my name is Brett. I'm a life coach. Our family lives in Fredonia, NY."

Someone else responds with their name, job, and domicile residency. 

And the dance begins...

Do I ask them more about their job? Should I ask if they have kids? I could just go to the standard weather chat. Is that pulled pork over there? Wait...what did he say his name was again? Ughh...

Let's back-up.
I'm going to introduce myself again.

"Hi, my name is Brett. I help people discover WHO they are, so they will know WHAT to do."

I'd bet you are more interested about who I am now, than before. Why is that? Because in my first introduction I told you WHAT I was called (a life coach). In my second one, I shared WHO I was...AKA, my calling (to help people).

One is a task.
The other is inspirational.

That's precisely the point that I believe we are missing the mark on when it comes to raising up our kids, the next generation, a team, or our employees. We are teaching them that WHAT they do defines them as individuals.

What they do, is simply ONE expression of who they are. But it's not actually WHO they are.

Don't believe me?

Ask Millennials if they think they will have the same job for the next 30 years. They will either spit their drink through their nose laughing, or look at you like you've lost your mind.

Why?

Because the model of WHAT is broken. And I, for one, couldn't be more excited about it.

Why?

Because at the heart of real change is a foundational shift. From asking someone what they want to do when they grow up, to helping them discover who they are now.

Help someone discover a clear vision for their lives, based on a core set of values they truly believe in, and everything changes. Multiply that by a large group of people who share those beliefs?

Look out. You've just found a healthy culture of game-changers.

By 2025, 75% of the workforce will be made up of Millennials. I have a strong sense they will be considerably more concerned about making a difference based on WHO they are and WHY they exist, than anything else.

Oh, they will work. They will have jobs. They will lead. They will do amazing things. But again...I sense it will have way more to do with purpose than profit. 

Because at the end of the day...

When you know WHO you are, you will know WHAT to do.

So...can you answer it without hesitation?

Who are you?

When you know WHO you are, you will know WHAT to do. You'll spend your time, energy, and resources walking out an outward expression of your inward vision.

Specificity matters.
We'll talk more about that, soon.

​Thanks for stopping by today.

From time to time people will ask what I do. It's a fair question. My wife tells me I need to talk more about it. I will post on Twitter, or Facebook about where my travels take me...but never too much about the specifics of it. Until now. So, here we go...

I do three things.
Speak
Teach
Coach

I'm a motivational speaker & a life coach. 

My best friend just made a Matt Foley reference in his head when he read that. You might have, too. That's fine. That bit is hysterical! But what I do is as real as the high fives, laughter, occasional tears, and life change stories that come from students after speaking into the lives of the next generation.

My work is wrapped in helping high school and college students transition well. From HS to college. From college to the workplace. From wherever they are, to where they feel called to. And if they are struggling to find their calling, we work through that, too.

I've made some bold steps recently, and more are in the works. Why? Trust me, it's not to see my name in lights. It's to double-down on my commitment to not waste my pain. To do, as a mentor once encouraged me to...teach from it. Yeah, pain infers there is a story. It's rich. You'll laugh. You'll cry. Heck...I fight tears trying to get through parts of it. But I have to tell it, because I've heard life-change stories from students as a result of sharing from it.

In today's blog I want to give you an inside snap-shot of what this looks like. After having spent an entire day speaking on a college campus, I asked a college professor to share his thoughts on my time with his students.

I wasn't fully prepared for the impact of his response. It has created a renewed sense of urgency on my part. More on that, after you read this...

Here is his response:
(Bold and italics, mine)

"In the fall of 2015, I invited Brett Gould to campus at Roberts Wesleyan College to give a series of talks in my writing courses.  Brett spoke in every class back-to-back-to-back-to-back and the day culminated with his campus-wide lecture as part of the Cultural Enrichment Series.  Brett's presence on campus truly created a transforming experience for many students. 

I know this because

1) I read student exercises from a journal we worked through for class professing such and

2) I had students continue to ask me about him the next semester.  Many of the students spoke glowingly about both Brett's speaking style and ability to instantly connect with them on a deep level.  He made them feel seen and that they mattered.

A few years ago I noticed that around halfway through an academic term many students needed real encouragement.  The rigor of a 15 week semester left many weary and feeling overwhelmed.  That's why I contacted Brett.  I believed that his message about finding out who one is in order to discover how to live would be received well.  I was not surprised to see that this single class session was enough to speak volumes to many students; I had witnessed as much when Brett changed my worldview as a soccer coach when I was in high school.  What he does so effectively is show people that he cares about them and the work they will do.  As Brett and I told stories and shared from our own walks with God, I saw many students put their guards down.  It was a rare day.  It was a pivotal day.  In fact, many actually did some of their best writing as they processed the changes that were occurring in their lives because of how Brett provided a clearer picture of peaks and valleys of life.

Every college professor or coach looking to establish a real rapport with his or her students should consider inviting Brett Gould to campus to talk about the art of "becoming" or rediscovering who we are.  His work helped me to reach out in a really significant way to my students; he helped me to create a memorable class that many students will remember far beyond the content I discussed in class."

​--------
So this is the part where I need your help. Actually, not me...the students I could be speaking with. 

• Are you a Teacher, Professor, or Coach? Will you commit to bringing this message to your kids by having me come speak?
• Do you know a Teacher, Professor, or Coach? Will you commit to sharing this blog post, and asking them to have me come speak life into their kids?
• Have you heard me speak? Will you commit to reaching out to others that would benefit from having me come speak?

Let's peel back the onion a little. Getting to the point where you get this bold (to "make the ask" like this) is a huge "I wanna puke on my shoes" moment. That's  a natural reaction to potential rejection. But when you feel as strongly as I do, it's not an option. It's my responsibility. 

The reality of rejection is real. We've all felt it at some point. But the reality of the response after I've spoken to high school and college students is even more real.

So I continue. So I ask. So I reach out. Because there is a young person sitting in a high school, or walking across a college campus that needs to hear this message.

Thanks for stopping by today.

Oh yeah...those bold moves?

Tour Dates will be announced soon.
Wait, what? A tour.
Yes.
It's called "DIALED IN"...and you are not going to want to miss it. $10 a seat. An hour that will challenge and encourage you to be who you are called to be, and do what you only you are uniquely equipped to do.

Do you know a student that needs to hear that message?

We are even accepting submissions for where I go on tour. Want me to come to a city near you? Let us know! I will trek here, there and everywhere. (End of post has how to get in contact with our team)

I have also just agreed to come speak to college students at a major NorthEast festival. That announcement will be coming soon, as well.

Grab a snack and buckle up.

2016 is about to get real...real fast. 

Thanks, in advance, for "making the ask" to have me come speak, on the behalf of students who need the encouragement.

Drop a note in the comments, or hit me up to talk more details, here:

Contact@WHOBIX.com
@BrettWGould on Twitter
716-672-9661