"You've got to create healthy boundaries."
You must do this so that things that appear attractive don't become habits that are destructive.
Let's go swimming for a minute. At first, it's a lot of fun. One stroke at a time. The view is great, the water refreshing. Then something starts to happen. Our arms tire, our breathing becomes more labored. And in a moment, what we are sure will be there to help us catch our breath is not any longer. We go to put our feet down on solid ground to stand, and we can't feel it.
We've gotten out so deep in the water,
we are in over our head.
Work. Home. Relationships. Ministry. It can happen in all of these places. Our best of intentions can get us in situations we should never have had to encounter.
So how do we avoid this part of chaos?
Just like the buoy line in the picture above tells us we need to turn around, we need limits in place in our work, families, relationships and churches. Candidly…there are just some places that some people are not equipped to go.
As a leader it's your job to identify them, articulate them clearly, and set your people up for success within your organization.
As a follower it's your job not to rock the boat and pitch a fit when you don't understand. Many times you won't be able to "see the difference". In other words, you won't know if the water is 4 feet or 44 feet deep. So you will keep swimming. You'll insist "you are fine". And at some point, it may end in a tragic situation.
Listening to and honoring the leadership over you may be the very thing that will protect you.
Separating what looks the same isn't easy, and not everyone is called to do it. But those that are need to be listened to.
(Insert why it's so important that parents stop trying to be their kid's "best friends" all the time here. Just lead well!)
That's how you can make sure that something that looks attractive doesn't become a habit that is destructive.
You avoid deep waters that will overtake you by trusting the vision set before you.
Are there times when the boundaries need to be pushed so that your team can get to where they need to go? Absolutely. But that is never done by just diving in and rushing into the unknown. It's done out loud, in advance, with intentional preparation so that you can get where your team needs to go safely.
Leaders are leaders for a reason. If you are under one that casts vision, and leads by careful influence to get everyone someplace special…together…congrats. That's a cool place to be. And if you are a leader, don't let this go to your head. It's your responsibility to get everyone there safely. Your pride has no place in that process.
If, on the other hand, you are in a situation where orders are barked out, and you stay on the shore forever…there isn't anything wrong with having a conversation. Talk it out. Share your concerns. And then make decisions that are healthy.
But please, don't just jump in and start swimming to prove a point. The point you prove may end up being you in over your head. And that's not any place you are called to.
Turning chaos into order
starts with intentionality.
It starts with setting healthy boundaries.
Embrace them so that you can get where you are going with a purpose, on purpose…to make a difference in the world around you.
Part 3 is coming soon!
Here is what we'll tackle.
3. You've got to create systems and structure. You must do this so that you can multiply your progress in a healthy environment.
See you all soon!
From the desk of our founder, Brett W. Gould.